Gillian Lander's sundry notes

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NOSTALGIA CHOIR AGAIN. Since 2004 we have gathered at Auckland Cathedral to sing as we did under Peter Godfrey in the 60s and 70s. Peter turns 90 on 3 April, but still we have had a punishing routine of rehearsal and services, finishing with a Sunday night dinner. Some of this year's music has been recorded and it may be uploaded to Youtube. (with stills instead of video)

Three quarters way through making the inventory of the contents of this 15th century Antiphonal from the Sisters of the Common Life in Amersfoort. This is 092v1 (and antiphon) and v2 (a responsory) in Hufnagel/Gothic "hobnail" notation

De Apostolis in [?simpliciti ] Antiphon

Ecce ego mitto vos sicut oves in medio luporurm estote ergo prudentes sicut serpentes et simplices sicut columbae / Behold I send you as sheep among ravening wolves therefore you must be as wise as serpents and as innocent as doves. (Mt 10:16) A deeply meaningful text for this community, got at from all quarters - the pope and inquistors, the city fathers, society - hence the extra embellishment of this page, complete with wolf ravening bottom left.

Years back I fancied in retirement I would do some work in dusty cathedral libraries with old manuscripts. I never imagined that instead I could be working with digitised copies, at home, in my PJs late into the night. But I have handled the original book, and will do so again later this year. Its in Alexander Turnbull Library, and will be known as "NZ-Wt MSR-03" Amazing to leaf through a work so old... c1450. And it is all my work unpacking it for the world. As I progress, and read wider, the rarity of this work is dawning upon me; a treasure for West in pre-Reformation history, for the Dutch, and for New Zealand. It has been in New Zealand for nigh a century, probably wondering what on earth its doing here.

Digitisation of the most wonderful treasures is now snowballing. The CANTUS database in Toronto is gathering all of the research and imagery into a wonderful searchable resource. New Zealand will be there when I have finished all this. Even stuff from the Vatican is showing up. See > www.cantusdatabase.org<

A proposed ROBIN HOOD TAX and OCCUPY are great new developments.
Like the Peasants Revolt in 1300s against the feudal Poll Tax, and other insurrections since, this is the beginning of the end for capitalism as we know it. It took 200 years for Feudalism to finally die, but today, with the internet.... Capitalism has become abusive of humanity and totally amoral, and quite bizarre in its demands. Could it be The Beast of Revelations? A more humane and even-handed system must evolve. If it does not, then democracy will fail. Capitalism with constraints? Greed / Mammon has has blinded people and ruled for some centuries. Small wonder we have church officials in gaol, and former Ministers of Justice on criminal charges. (Actually we're lucky the law still manages to operate there - only just) Even the church is corrupted by corporatisation these days. That is why the St Pauls Cathedral staff are falling like flies amid the London CBD Occupation.

Obviously communism is no answer, so some very creative thinking is required. What about an internationally agreed freeze on CEO/Director's pay, with a graduated reduction and refund of the mega-bucks already paid? NOBODY's work is worth what they currently earn. It should be similar to that paid to senior surgeons / judges / engineers. CEOs operate on a clear desk policy anyway, with ample time for golf - er, that's business networking of course. Maybe there could be a requirement for corporates to amply fund philanthropic causes - without the marketing gimmicks and paybacks. Alas a little less for shareholders. But then, the old company entity with self-interested shareholders perhaps needs a revamp too.

The Occupiers have a way to go sorting and articulating ideas. Few of them are layabouts, though they are readily branded as such by those with a lot of waking up ahead and underlying ill-will, grudgingly part of the workforce. It will take time. Every protester is jumping on the bandwagon at the moment. The zombified Human Resources aka epsilons (as in Huxley's Brave New World which they will not have read ) of the corporate world have some learning in store. This is the at-home, on-the-ground face of the revolution which is running in cyberspace courtesy of www.avaaz.org, a ten million+ persons multiple campaign network of people-power projects that has stunning results as it is purposely in the power and pay of NO politicians.

However, upon greater reflection, I think New Zealand is running ahead of the USA /Europe in all this. How long have we been on the GE issue, organic foods, "made in NZ" platforms, with little reliance on the USA? Thankfully no real trade agreements there to drop us in it when USA falls to China. Corporately, look at "Z" / Shell NZ - a very new young local face even in its call centre. This is all part of resisting the multinationals. The change to capitalism/democracy will take several generations - like the coming 16th century Reformation pre-figured above. There is even today someone teaching in the Auckland University Business School countering the Deity of GNP. (all going right past the wicket keeper, but good on him)

A friend phoned me recently with a heartwarming animal story - from the oil soaked Bay of Plenty. This friend lives at Papamoa, just over the road from the beach.

The cat door was open, and Puss came in. She heard the cat door flap clatter. Then she heard the flap clatter another five times, so she went to have a look in puzzlement. Puss had brought home five penguins with oil on their feathers. Did he invite them or did they just follow in hope? Condition not toooo bad. So she cleaned them - well removed the oil to her kitchen which became a pigsty. Then she gave them a feed of tinned salmon, boxed the penguins up, and took them to the animal shelter for the experts to deal with. Intelligent little souls, I have no doubt. And animals can do "thought transfers" so maybe the cat said "Come home to Mum, I know she can help." OR HAVE I BEEN TOLD A LOAD OF COBBLERS?

THE SCHIZOID PERSONALITY - A tiny minority of the population, talented good people, not insane, or psychiatric cases, not schizophrenic, but like those with Aspergers Syndrome, they are bearing a social and existential burden difficult to live with, and difficult for others to understand. Natural solitaries with a rich interior life.

Who was Max Steiner (opposite) ? He was one of the great composers of last century. An Austrian born 1888 and a pupil of Brahms, then a gifted young composition student under Gustave Mahler, his immense orchestral output has passed unawares before millions of us for a century. He was the composer of film music from the very beginning of Hollywood. King Kong, Gone with the Wind and dozens more are his scores. His was a schizoid personality, just like Franz Kafka according to Mikel Martinez Anton, who has lately become a "friend" on facebook - well he's gone now. And now, I wonder - Janet Frame and Keri Hulme ?And I learn too that Merlin /Myrddrin was also probably one.

See Spanish psychologist Mikel Martinez Anton's website www.schizoids.info - I think the baldest website I have seen, but it has some wonderful information in the links of the left hand columns. A brave man.

A PUZZLE

We felt like lost pieces, and they kept us in another puzzle box.
Being wrong pieces, we cannot always fit in.
It is important to realise that this is not our puzzle.
Trying to force the piece to fit is ridiculous effort,
unnecessary, tiring.
We should create our own puzzle, piece by piece,
Just as the primitive original cell continued dividing until
It created an entirely new organism....
Invest in the process
Why try to fit in a place which is not ours?
We'll only succeed when we comply with who we are.
Adapted from Max Steiner

BONES Bach's bones, Thomas Becket's bones and St David's bones. Imagine having such a longstanding, awe-inspiring impact on peoples' finer feelings that they are leaving flowers on your grave still, after 260 years - a place for pilgrimage. One of humanity's greatest.

There is quite a yarn behind the JS Bach grave in St Thomas, which has only been there since 1950. Why so recent ?

Bach's grave in St Thomas Leipzig

When Bach died in 1750 he was buried in an oak coffin only a few yards or so outside the walls of St Johns Church, Leipzig - not St Thomas. Graves there were exhumed in 1894 for extensions to the church to be made. Three oak coffins were found. One with a young woman's remains, another with broken male bones, and a third a complete skeleton of a mature male of stocky build with a solid skull - medically matching JSB. The details are in Albert Schweitzer's JS Bach study. So he was re-interred entombed under the altar of that church.... which was bombed flat by the Allies in the Second World War.

In 1949 the site was cleared and one Herr Malecki intercepted workers. Have they found Bach's coffin yet? "Wer ist Bach?" (Who is Bach?) Malecki was dumbfounded and straight way cleared debris from the collapsed sanctuary and found the coffin - still intact. So JSB went into Malecki's handcart and went with Malecki to St Thomas Church where he asked the cleaning lady '"Guten Tag, ich bringe Bach, was soil i' denn tun?" (Hello I have Bach here what should I do?) She screamed and ran away.

At this point the sexton arrived, Max Motzer. Next a church official Dr Schumann was consulted and they decided to put Bach in the north sacristy awhile, and Motzer was to stand guard and not let anyone in. Then of course the STASI were interested. It was the beginning of the Cold War. Motzer stood guard still and would not let them enter, so they set up guard outside. Political "enemies of the State" might want to steal Bach. Finally it was decided to inter him at the front edge of the chancel and the tomb was consecrated in the 1950 Bach Festival. And there he lies today, bedecked in flowers.

BECKET is more of a mystery.

When I was in Canterbury in 1996, a book was launched about his bones - and I have only just read it, courtesy of my research last year - The Quest for Beckets Bones. And I have my own conclusions now.

When he was murdered in 1170, (and my dissertation called upon me to visit all that) they entombed him in his coffin behind an altar in the crypt, directly below the High Altar - in those days.

That is, the building had yet to gain the huge Trinity Chapel extension, and ambulatory, and thus the extended crypt as well, not to mention the corona.(The author of the above book was muddled in this.) The Trinity Chapel was not completed until 1220, and then it housed the Shrine for Thomas (or what remained of him) until 1538. Little bits of him travelled all Europe as a result of the huge cult in his name in the 200 years after his death.

Then in 1538 -39 Henry VIII closed the monasteries and dismantled shrines of St Cuthbert and others first. So the monks at Canterbury, getting wind of this, hastily removed Thomas and hid his body "with other men where no man will ever find him". By the time the royal emissaries arrived at Canterbury to take the shrine apart, Thomas had gone, and an eastern portion of the 'new' crypt was walled off with stone. Stories abounded of his being burned and ashes scattered to the wind - due contempt for a national traitor.

In 1888 the wall in the crypt was pulled down to reveal small chapels of St Mary Magdalen and St........ (opposite) and some graves in the floor before the altar rails. One was opened and just inches below ground level was a neatly arranged skeleton with its skull on a plinth. The skull (below) had a huge gash in the left side made by a blunt instrument. AH... they had found Thomas. And they promptly re-buried him. And so he lay in peace until the 1950s. Then he was exhumed again and sent to a forensic pathologist. After two years he was returned. No, this cannot be Thomas.

These bones were first buried in earth and have not dried or decomposed as bones would in a tomb. And the gash in the head was done post-mortem. It was not the cause of death. It is not Thomas.

The monks of 1538 had not bargained on the Silent Witness. A decision was made to not dig any further - that we know of. Clearly the skeleton was /is a decoy. I think it is a toothless old monk dug up hastily from the monastery grounds in 1538, and his head savaged with a spade, and he was given new duties guarding Thomas. Beneath him lies Thomas and perhaps another buried earlier (the company of other men).

But, somebody "knows". There is a small secret group who pray there in the crypt annually for the salvation of England (not having much luck). Somebody who "knows" (and its likely the Dean and Archbishop) has had the area "improved" with new lighting and altar-ware. I think he lies under the cordoned area left. This, by the way was the original Canterbury Festival location for TS Eliot's play Murder in the Cathedral.... right on top of Becket ! And I was there in 1996 to hear the Academy of Ancient Music. The whole crypt is a performance space.

St David is a simpler case.

David lived around the monastery he founded at St David's Wales, and died c603. The cathedral was built around 1100 on the site of the earlier monastery and although the relics still held ( in St Thomas Chapel in the cathedral ) are said to be St David's, radio-carbon dating makes them far too young. They were probably from dead monks buried on the site and date from 1100s when they were exhumed for the buillding project. In any case, two skulls remaining at the Reformation were disposed of in disgust by the then Bishop, and all that remains now are three legs - from three different men.

Nevertheless, they have been treated to veneration of late - Procession and Vespers. And when the St David Shrine is restored they will have an annual outing on St David's Day.

St David Shrine will have three icons as well as the bones.

After a forest fire in Yellowstone National Park, forest rangers began their trek up a mountain to assess the inferno's damage.  One ranger found a bird literally petrified in ashes, perched statuesquely on the ground at the base of a tree.  Somewhat sickened by the eerie sight, he knocked over the bird with a stick. When he gently struck it, three tiny chicks scurried from under their dead mother's wings. The loving mother, keenly aware of impending disaster, had carried her offspring to the base of the tree and had gathered them under her wings, instinctively knowing that the toxic smoke would rise.  She could have flown to safety, but had refused to abandon her babies. Then the blaze had arrived and the heat had scorched her small body, the mother had remained steadfast... because she had been willing to die, so those under the cover of her wings would live. 'He will cover you with His feathers, and under His wings you will find refuge.' (Psalm  91:4)

Time waits for no one. Treasure every moment you have. May God bless you abundantly. 

And a kingfisher has arrived at my home.

Banned from Woolworths- Didn't like shopping there anyway (is this true?)

Yesterday I was at my local Woolworths buying a large bag of Purina dog food for my boy and was in the checkout queue when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog.  What did she think I had ? So, since I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Purina Diet again.   I added that I probably shouldn't, because I ended up in hospital last time, but that I'd lost 2 stone before I woke up in intensive care with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.  I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again.  (I have to mention here that practically everyone in queue was now listening to my story.) Horrified, she asked me if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me.    I told her no, I stepped off a curb to sniff an Irish Setter's arse and a car hit us both. 

I'm now banned from Woolworths. 

Better watch what you ask retired people.  They have all the time in the world to think of daft things to say. And anyway, since I'm a woman over 60 I'm invisible, so I'll do and say what I please.

Recycled-

This is a wonderful story about Itzhak Perlman for those of us who will lose or have lost a string or two along our way...

On Nov. 18, 1995, Itzhak Perlman, the violinist, came on stage to give a concert at Avery Fisher Hall at Lincoln Center in New York City . If you have ever been to a Perlman concert, you know that getting on stage is no small achievement for him. He was stricken with polio as a child, and so he has braces on both legs and walks with the aid of two crutches. To see him walk across the stage one step at a time, painfully and slowly, is an awesome sight.   

He walks painfully, yet majestically, until he reaches his chair. Then he sits down, slowly, puts his crutches on the floor, undoes the clasps on his legs, tucks one foot back and extends the other foot forward. Then he bends down and picks up the violin, puts it under his chin, nods to the conductor and proceeds to play.

By now, the audience is used to this ritual. They sit quietly while he makes his way across the stage to his chair. They remain reverently silent while he undoes the clasps on his legs. They wait until he is ready to play.  But this time, something went wrong. Just as he finished the first few bars, one of the strings on his violin broke. You could hear it snap - it went off like gunfire across the room. ...... There was no mistaking what that sound meant. There was no mistaking what he had to do.  

We figured that he would have to get up, put on the clasps again, pick up the crutches and limp his way off stage - to either find another violin or else find another string for this one. But he didn't.

Instead, he waited a moment, closed his eyes and then signaled the conductor to begin again. The orchestra began, and he played from where he had left off.   And he played with such passion and such power and such purity as they had never heard before Of course, anyone knows that it is impossible to play a symphonic work with just three strings. I know that, and you know that, but that night Itzhak Perlman refused to accept that.

You could see him modulating, changing, re- composing the piece in his head. At one point, it sounded like he was de-tuning the strings to get new sounds from them that they had never made before. When he finished, there was an awesome silence in the room.  Then suddenly people rose and cheered.

There was an extraordinary outburst of applause from every corner of the auditorium. We were all on our feet, screaming and cheering, doing everything we could to show how much we appreciated what he had done

He smiled, wiped the sweat from this brow, raised his bow to quiet us, and then he said not boastfully, but in a quiet, pensive, reverent tone . .

" You know, sometimes it is the artist's task to find out how much music you can still make with what you have left".......

Life in Waterloo Quadrant - ironically f r e e of church

2009: BMus(Hons) program. Research in Musicology & essay on JSB St Matthew Passion Reception History in NZ - requested written as a Proposal for PhD. Research essay on Anglo-Saxon Neumes as in the Winchester Gradual 11th Century, chant for the Tuesday of Passion Week - Essay on Gregorian Hymns Introits and Graduals. Some of these essays will be loaded to my music page as PDFs. Gripping whodunnits! Post-Grad Summer Scholarship on Wranitsky Sextets edition with Dr Nancy November.

2010: Dissertation - Chant of the Divine Office focussing on the Night Office and Vespers as found in the 14th century Penpont Antiphoner with feasts of St David, St Thomas of Canterbury - all new liturgies of the day. Political issues underlying, Welsh nationalism, and English independence of the church - Statutes of Clarendon. And two research essays - one on Medieval Hymnody for the major seasons of the calendar, and another, an edited transcription and analytical discussion of the Office of St.Anne in Graz-Gu30 manuscript set in the artistic and cultural context of England and Europe in the late Middle Ages. (Austrian history, Chaucer, stained glass, English wall painting, cults, Giotto, Gothic painting etc..) All to be online here, and also accessed via www.academia.edu. Degree conferred 22 September 2011.

2012 - MMus (Hons) / PhD Thesis - Making available to the scholarly world through transcription and critical analysis for CANTUS database in Toronto, a 15th century Manuscript in Alexander Turnbull Library digitised for us now. Will require plenty of time with the real thing though. See Alexander Turnbull MSR-30 or MSR-60 > HERE< More on the Nuns at Amersfoort to come.

I HAVE A PUZZLE

With the prospect of editing some early music in view I am doing a little preliminary research. It has taken me to the Rolls Series, "Rerum Britanicarum Medii Aevi Scriptores" now courtesy of Princeton University who have put these early texts online. This might be an important passage for me in due course. It may tell us more about the music there that can be useful to my editing. So, if perchance you have a worthwhile contribution I would be glad to hear from you! There are gaps quite insoluble. I have not yet finished my attempt at translation. And I am not an expert Latinist !

Below is the extract from the "Rolls Series" available now from the Public Records Office in London - material from the Rolls of the Middle Ages. 

It is reputedly by Thomas of Elmham, (or his companion) a monk of St Augustine's monastery, and chaplain to Henry V at Agincourt. Or it was intended for his history of the St Augustine Monastery at Canterbury which he completed only as far as 800, hence the rough Latin draft by someone of the contemporary account - possibly written from recollections about 1435.

It accounts for the music used in Canterbury Cathedral as the monastic chapel for St Augustine's Monastery nearby, A medieval serivice sheet. In 1416, after Agincourt, the Holy Roman Emperor Sigismund met for some time with Henry V at Canterbury to sign the Treaty of Canterbury, forming an alliance between the two against France.

________________________________________

At issue, the three popes to be deposed, (at the Council of Constance 1414-18 ) and lands of France, and matters of religion. Just what were Henry's views? And also Chichelle's?

The monk-writer has musical interest and services may have showcased works by Dunstable as the flower of English talent of the day. Names of works correspond to his. The writer may even have been a monk singing "in choir".

Easter must have been late that year as Ascension, Pentecost, Trinity and St John the Baptist are all within weeks of this conference in mid-summer. Funny, there is no reference to Becket, as Henry V made many pilgrimages to Canterbury. (Ah, but Henry V, like Henry VIII, may have not been a fan of Becket) But there is mention of St Edward and St George - Chichele had just made St George patron saint of England in 1415 in lieu of St Edward the Confessor. And they fought and won in the Somme (aka Agincourt) under his cross of red banner.

Whatever, a good time was had of the visit to England - a fine summer in the south, time at Windsor (? hunting deer) and an opinion formed of fine musicianship and churchmanship in England, as the Emperor and entourage departed for Calais via Dover.

The original probably looks like the text (two) below, by Henry VI. Translation has defied many over six centuries, and for sure I'm no better Latinist. What are the problems? 

1. The writer is being deliberately obscure for some reason. Parts of words fit across several lines. (Perhaps there is a monkish idea of virtue in anonymity but in admiring Dunstable he just had to name him crypticly.) NO ! - LIGHT has dawned on this one. He is deliberately writing using musical compositional tools like hocketing, talea, or cantus firmus. Of course, he had no vocabulary as we do today to discuss the nascent polyphonic style. No way of describing voice leading and part writing, or the isorhythmic motet, so he's demonstrating it with words. Clever !

(u=n - stant) Proses with psalms, responsories with verses 'as set', the Gloria after all of them sung chorally. The Lords Day(Sunday), and four days Ferial days (Psalm modes i-viii not melismatic "ferial" not festal use) (J=d) Contionem=contilumin
The songs of the assembly/conference rejoice, praise and bless the name of the Lord.

On the 6th ferial day (Saturday)..

Laudate Dominum (Ps 117) the clever/elaborate way (ie melismatic), my favourite (cor mecum) (Amazing to know the chant he is talking about. It is lovely music. Not just a Psalm tone.I have a CD of Selwyn Chapel singing it)

Afterwards a Mass commemorating the Three in One, with verses "Tibi Laus" ... repeated and extended. Versicles given the Collect by the celebrating priest.

Ascendit Christus, Assunpta Maria in tenor- this monk knows technicalities of music (Motets by Dunstable.)

At this time (here/now) men look upon and remember you. St George. (Archbishop had just made him patron saint of England in time for Agincourt 1415) Here are versicles and prayers composed for his death.

Afterwards Compline, six remembrances of the divine, here ingenious, here rhythmically and /melodically effective (and he demonstrates the hocketing and sharing of a melodic line)

Libera Nos = Chant for Trinity Veni sancte Spritus - major work by Dunstable using text by Archbishop of Cantby, Stephen Langton. This would have been a MUST for the Emperor's visit.   Cryptic - Was woven / plaited by Dunstable (Dsntil)

THE MIRACLE OF MODERN SURGERY- see below..
Bionic Woman back on organ....

Since I first posted this comment, I have discovered a rash of internet searches from all over the world (USA, Europe, Third World, Asia..) in, bringing up the issue of tendon transfers and arm/hand anatomy. Obviously either patients like me seeking solace, or medical students. Yes, I note a rush of interest at the beginning of the northern academic year. Anatomy 101 of the upper extremities. So I am tightening up the history, as ever a teacher !  And of late I have discovered that I am a "known patient" at MCS - a difficult case they all seem to have an interest in !!

Below are the three tendon transfers made on my paw in November 2006, after the removal of neural fibroma aka Aggressive Fibromatosis about the posterior interosseus nerve, in 2005 along with radial nerve and supinator muscle, all of which took about 10-15 years to reach a point of diagnosis. I will never forget the grateful feeling of relief post-op (possibly silly on morphine) that the exhausting pressure of the tumour (2cm x 3cm x 2cm) on the radial nerve was over. This, even when the Superficial Sensory Radial Nerve was giving me hell that morphine could not touch. Months of physio followed, preparing muscle for new function before the tendon transfers about a year later.

I think the first tendon transfer pic should show FCU linked to EDC.and the second pic should go to FDS to EPL not the Abductor - but its the general idea. There are all sorts of possibilities   I have lived a whole life without one Palmaris Longus and this was just discovered by the surgeon who had planned to use it. OK, plan B ...  A pity that I went to theatre longing to be put to sleep after a disturbed night on the ward. I had the offer of watching all this under local anaesthetic. But it would have required keeping totally still for three hours as Tim worked under a microscope weaving all together. Eight weeks of staged physio followed after emerging from the cricket bat cast. Patience, patience.....And yet more physio... still two years on.

However, it was not a blinding success due in part to the heavy radiation pre-op on the tumour in the arm. Too much scar tissue. The wrist is still dropped after PT to ECRB. This is about to be re-worked tenolysis as the tendons are apparently caught in scar tissue and will not slide as they ought. Even electrical stimulation by the physio could not budge them. And the thumb will not extend as it ought though it is slowly gaining.. That will be dealt to last of all. Debatable. Great improvements have been made in articulation of the arm with the recent removal of the radial head, jammed with defomity of ligaments, and an old healed crack. 15 degrees of pronation and supination have now become 65 degrees or so out of possible 90. Next step is tenolysis - depending upon a round table consultation with other consultants..

Friday 6 June 09 . (AHA - we have had the consultation complete with Powerpoint Presentation. Consensus is that the tendon transfer has come apart in the arm. Pronator Teres is floating unattached under another muscle and the tendon from ECRB is lost somewhere. MRI #3 coming up, and exploratory surgey...)

Monday 8 Sept 09. TODAY THE RESULTS OF MRI #3 - Another Aggressive Fibromatosis tumour a bit further/half way down the radius, right against the bone, compromising the tendon transfer ECRB-PT. Must be 10cm long. No surgery allowed as it will make things worse. No more radiation - 50gy maxed out. See Gary French in November, and will probably be faced with Gleevec chemo. ugh.. But I see there are herbal possibilities - eg " Pau d'arco" whatever that is. WATCH THIS SPACE. I have registered now as a patient on www.dtrf.org (Desmoid Tumour Research Foundation) and joined a couple of support groups.. These are the worst tumours - lawless and aggressive and very rare (3: 1,000,000pa) and little understood. I wonder if Gary has kept my block?

Tuesday 18 November 08 - Meet Gary at Manukau Super Clinic - > Oncologogy -> Chemo BUT - I am already on Pau d'arco tabs, (reputed to reduce tumours) and have saliva on the way to Canterbury for hormone testing, as I want to be well prepared for this meeting. Chemo is likely one year on Gleevec..... Below are articles and sites or relevance so far. TBD and CancerCompass are support groups with all sorts of shared info. Tues 18 Nov..08... GOOD NEWS! GOOD NEWS! GOOD NEWS! .... I don't have to have chemo. The mass is hard scar tissue indistinguishable from tumour by MRI .... Case of too many cooks/surgeons. Carry on with Pau d'acro and hormone. DTRF can possibly have some tissue for research as the tumour is kept at Middlemore. Another check next year ! Disease is dormant as a result of heavy radiation and surgery. I'VE BEATEN THE ODDS SO FAR !

http://www.tbd.com/group/1030/discussion/309499/show
http://www.cancercompass.com/message-board/message/single,2686,13.htm
http://jjco.oxfordjournals.org/cgi/content/full/34/8/472
http://annonc.oxfordjournals.org/cgi/content/full/14/2/181
http://www.paudarco.org/

Tuesday 17 November 09 - Met surgeon Gary French at Manukau Super Clinic - AND I HAVE BEEN DISCHARGED !!!! The disease is sufficiently dormant to discharge me into GP's care. The site is getting softer and more healthy on each examination now. I have a card to return if need be, but really ------ WE'VE WON..... it has decided not to return. Prayer, intercession, heavy radiation, radical surgery, pau d'arco, holy unction.... who knows...

_______________________________________________________________________

Since loading the pipe organ progress, yes I am playing Bach again, including some diploma music, over two years after the first surgery, but plenty of repertoire is lost forever simply because of the configuration of the left hand part - even basic hymn tunes. I got back on the organ six months after transfers. Luckily the left hand is only one of four limbs used by organists. Each time I play there are minute improvements, and I look forward to playing one day soon without the dropped wrist. (Sorry that aint gonna happen now!) What I am delightfully discovering is new music that I now have to learn. Even Bach has undiscovered gems - his dark, brooding chorale prelude on the German Our Father is a recent discovery. And a salutory lesson indeed... some works have IMPROVED with the demands of physical effort, concentration, care and new insight. I can cope with about an hour of playing now, and soon will explore Theodore Dubois' Sortie Toccata. ANY Toccatas after tendon transfers are just miracles.... But as a member of our congregation said - it's ALL a miracle. I remain on the intercession list. (ER.... SEE ABOVE....)

So, if you are reading this as a patient anxious about the future, do take heart. Yes, I have been lucky and have had some wonderful surgeons, leaders in their fields who may not be matched in some of the places visiting this site. But tendon transfers have been done for over fifty years now. And I know I am demanding more finesse of my paw than most patients. You will find new meaning in "patience".

And now named credits are due with gratitude: Dr Michael Lockwood, my GP (now departed for an IRISH VILLAGE to be Doc Martin as it were), Gary French FRACS (orthopaedic oncology), Tim Tasman-Jones FRACS (hand surgeon and painter ), Alieke van Middelaar (Head of Physio) and Margaret Chiaroni NZRN (Parish Nurse), Graeme Stevens (radiologist) and latterly Wolfgang Heiss-Dunlop MD FRACS (Hand surgeon)

I list here some of the JS Bach works that I can now resume playing: The Great Prelude & Fugue in C min (BWV 546 - a big work with effort), about half of Orgelbuchlein, Five part Fantasia in C minor, selected movements of Sei Gregrusset, and more to be listed. Of course there are other composers... Reger.. perhaps Franck..Pachelbel, Buxtehude - I have played some of theirs too.

Sarah in Cambridge is awaiting  an MP3 of me back on Bach at the organ. ! Will try ! It will look silly for sure but should sound OK in time if I can differentiate 4-5 fingers. And the Parish Nurse deserves a fundraiser recital. I am getting used to life without debilitating Radial Tunnel Syndrome - aka misdiagnosed Tennis Elbow for fifteen years.

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